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Dear Sally,
Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative Or so Bing Crosby warbled in the 1944 film ‘Here Come the Waves’. Although it isn’t a film I know at all, I heard the song recently on the radio. It encourages you to ‘spread joy out to the maximum, bring gloom down to a minimum’. With the ups and downs that happen in our busy lives, it can often be tricky to focus on the positive. Instead we let the tape player in our minds continue to loop on a negative sound track, all the time reminding ourselves of what we’ve not yet done, what’s already gone wrong and what could go wrong. Doom and gloom, as Eeyore would say! I’m sure you know people who can be like Tigger (full of positive energy, their get up and go is still with them) or like Eeyore (dreary, low and their get up and go got up and went!) This issue of Seesaw will look at how you can balance the thoughts that continuously trickle through your mind and how focusing on the positive can bring a Tigger grin to your face and a Tigger spring in your tail. Bouncy bouncy bouncy! Have a Tiggertastic time until next time Kathryn If you enjoy Seesaw, please forward it on to your friends and colleagues who you feel may enjoy it too. To sign up to receive your own free issue of Seesaw, visit www.nolimitscoaching.co.uk and register.
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The thoughts just keep on coming |
At a networking event I attended we were asked to tell the person opposite us five things we liked about ourselves. Some found it tough - their thoughts immediately focusing on what they didn’t like. No matter how high your self esteem and confidence, it always seems easier to dwell on the not so nice. Ask someone to list five things they don’t like about themselves and they can easily produce ten! You can’t completely remove the voice in your head that comments about your bitten nails, the loose elastic in your knickers or your greying receding hairline, but you can limit how much you dwell on the negative things it tells you. Where do all those thoughts go? All the thoughts you have seep into your subconscious. Unfortunately this amazing part of your brain doesn’t have a ‘Positive Comments Only’ filter. Everything is allowed in! You end up taking on board thoughts that, with hindsight, seem silly. We need to be careful about what we let into our subconscious because all of it, good and bad, shapes the way we feel about ourselves. Bizarrely, thinking negatively affects your thoughts, your body and what happens to you. People who are down in the dumps slouch! And it’s remarkable how being around people who are negative about their job, the world they live in or their lack of funds, can transfer that negative vibe to you. Before you know it, the thing that could go wrong, has done. Beware of mixing with miserable cantankerous and gloomy people in case you become like that too. |
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Show Me a Compliment!
Research has found that it takes five compliments to balance out one complaint. That’s five instances of someone being nice to you (or you being nice to you), to balance out someone being a bit mean. It is believed that by the age of 18 we have been praised and encouraged 30,000 and most of this was by the time we were three. Conversely, we have been criticised and discouraged 250,000 times. That’s a lot of negative thoughts floating through into your subconscious. Oh woe is me, what can I do? Stop listening to the bad stuff!!! Reliving something that didn’t go to plan again and again won’t change the outcome and it definitely won’t make you feel any better! Make your internal bully invisible, Tipp-Ex them out, turn down the volume, squash them with a big plastic hammer. Would you really choose to spend time with someone who put you down, all day, every day? What you can do is take charge of balancing your own thoughts. If you’re not kind to yourself, who will be? You wouldn’t tell a friend who was trying to make a positive change in their life and wanted support and encouragement, to give up and go back to hiding – so why be mean to yourself and let your internal bully make you feel bad? You can be your own worst enemy but you can also be your own best friend. Those who receive compliments and accept them graciously will shine. It’s like a small pat on the back, squeeze of the arm or a warm smile. Make your own day by being nice to you and make someone else’s day by complimenting them. Spend time with people, places, sounds and sights that are uplifting until the good thoughts flow naturally.
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The 'give it a go' bit
Now’s the time to put those good thoughts to use. Here are three simple tasks to help you focus on positive thoughts. 1. Compliment You! Write down three things you like about yourself. You don’t have to show the cat, the person sitting next to you at work or the stranger on the bus. Pay yourself a compliment and know that there is something great about you – unique as you are. 2. Have a Positive Day Make the next 24 hours all about being positive. Give yourself a break just for today and only listen to the good stuff. Use positive words and expressions, give someone a winning smile. Expect the best to happen. End the day by noting down five positive things that happened – whether it was something you did, a comment someone made or a brilliant sunset you witnessed. 3. Once a day, every day.... Be nice to yourself. Treat yourself to a small act of kindness specifically for you. Wear your favourite t shirt. Listen to your favourite tune. Text a mate you’ve not heard from in a while. Email me now with something positive that has already happened to you today! Could you do with some help to ‘eliminate the negative’? Do you beat yourself up on a regular basis? Coaching can help put a different perspective on your life and work with you to focus on your good points and your successes. If you’d like to work with a coach to pick up some hints and tips to bring out the Tigger in you, contact No Limits Coaching for a free coaching taster session. Come to the session with an issue you’re currently facing and leave with some options and actions to help resolve it. Your monthly thought to contemplate… If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience. Edward Rickenbacker
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