Positive Energy – Do You Have Friends Like These?

June 2009

Dear Reader

Do you know your friends from your enemies?

Do you have ‘friends’ who actually do nothing but bring you down and make you feel bad? These ‘frenemies’ are not the sort of people you want in your support network.

This issue of Positive Energy is about the people around you and how important they are to your success. We’ll look at how you can make even more use of your great relationships and good friends and see if you can spring clean any unhealthy ones!

Also in this issue:

· Great books to read

· Free taster session

As always, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. If you’d like to comment on something you’ve read or you have a story to share you can email me or call me on 01697 747 821.

Best wishes,

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

I have made a conscious decision to surround myself with people who support me, give me energy and make me laugh. I ditched the “friends”, who drained my energy and were very negative.

It might sound baffling to talk about a friend that you don't really like, but ask yourself, have you got a ‘frenemy'? She's the friend who leaves you feeling flat, doubts all the decisions in your life, is negative or drains all your energy. It's actually a common problem.

Your time and energy are limited resources. They are best spent wisely on the people who really matter to you. Do you know who they are? Your colleagues at work and your social network should all be people who energise you and make you feel happy. People who drain you or cause you unnecessary stress are doing so out of their own agenda, so take them off yours.

Of course, you don't have to share a long history with the people in your network of ‘friends'. They might be people you've known since school, but they might also be people you strike up a conversation with on the bus. The important thing is they have your best interests at heart.

Positive Practice

Are you making the most of the people in your life? Friendship is reciprocal. You take out what you put in. Would you like to double the love and support you receive from your friends? It's easy. All you have to do is double what you give out.

Here's how you do it:

1. Make a list of all the people in your life who you value and who make you smile. Think about what it is they do for you and how you feel in their company. These are the people who you want more of in your life.

2. Next think about what you do for them. Do they turn to you for advice or do they know you'll drop everything to help them if they need you to. Perhaps you do an activity together and they enjoy your company.

3. Finally write down different ways that you can be more of a friend to them. You might make more time to pick up the phone, or reorganise your diary so you can devote more time them. Maybe it's as simple as sending a text once in a while just to remind them how much they mean to you.

It may sound simple, but have you ever given your friendships that amount of serious thought? The important thing is, never to take them for granted and never to waste time on people who don't make you happy. You're worth more than that.

There's a worksheet on my website that will help you learn more about how to use your personal network to help you reach your goals. Click here to find it – it's called How to Recruit Help to Achieve Your Dreams

This month, there are three great books you can read, to help you develop your personal network. Click on the links to buy the books directly from my bookshop!

Brilliant networking by Steven D'Souza

Powerful Networking by John Lockett

The Charisma Effect by Andrew Leigh

	What Can You Do? Looking at where you are giving and getting help is part of our Fresh Steps programme. Why not come along to our free taster on 14^th July to find out more? Click here to email me and I'll send you more details.