Positive Energy - 3 Ways to Shine Up Your Positive Relationships!

June 2008

Dear Anne

They say last month was one of the hottest months of May on record. Isn't it great how the sun puts a spring in everyone's step? It certainly gives me an extra burst of energy and positivity. This month's topic should also give you an amazing boost! I'm going to share my tips on how to seek out and nurture friendships and relationships that will be good for you. It's something we should all try!

And don't forget, if you've got friends and colleagues who would benefit from a dose of Positive Energy each month – pass this newsletter on.

Cheers,

Sue

“Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.”

Jennie Jerome Churchill, 1854-1921, Mother of Winston Churchill

We're always being encouraged to spring clean our possessions. Whether it's your desk at work, or the bits and pieces you've collected over time at home, we all know that a good old de-clutter is a very useful exercise. It helps up recognise what's valuable and remove what's not. But have you ever given your relationships the same attention? Spring cleaning and de-cluttering your relationships can be an incredibly empowering exercise. Here's why:

As we go through life we collect new friends and acquaintances. We also collect new family members. But not all of our relationships are healthy and helpful. And those people that we value most don't always get the time and attention they deserve. Do you ever feel like you haven't got the balance quite right?

Giving your relationships a spring clean can help redress that balance. It will give you a better understanding of the type of relationships you value. It will also encourage you to seek out and make time for the type of people who are good for you! And better still, it will make you ‘untouchable' to anyone who is prone to upset you!

Positive Practice

So, next time you're going to spend an hour cleaning out your cupboards, take a notepad and pen instead and try out the following exercise!

Firstly, make a list of the people who are important to you. They might be family or friends, or even colleagues and neighbours. They might even be people who you don't see very often. Consider what it is that you value about them.
Next, make a list of the people that are negative influences. These are people who make you feel bad or unhappy. Consider why you think of them in a negative light.
Finally, trust your own judgement. You should now have a very clear picture of those people that deserve your time and attention and those that don't. Make a concerted effort to focus your attention on those people that you value most.

This exercise will give you an amazing confidence boost and leave you feeling energised. Of course, there's another great aspect to relationships. People can help you get where you want to be. If you find a good mentor, it can really help you to achieve your goals. If you want to learn more about mentors, then look at the worksheet on my website.

Emma from Aylesbury gave up her friend for Lent.

Like lots of people Emma usually gave up chocolate for Lent. Last year she decided to give up something different. She gave up an unhealthy relationship. When thinking about who supported and challenged her during her Spring Forward programme she realised that her friend Sharon was a very unhealthy influence and had been for a long time. Sharon was a jealous and possessive friend. She didn't like Emma having other friends and all she ever seemed to want to do was go out and get drunk. Sharon would start off the evening putting the world to rights, but end up getting morose.

Emma had put up with it for a long time and the Spring Forward programme finally helped her realise that she wasn't benefiting from the relationship at all. She took decisive action and spent the period of Lent trying new things that didn't involve Sharon. She took up salsa dancing and met lots of new people. She realised she didn't have to rely on Sharon for company and now has a new circle of friends that she really enjoys socialising with.

What Can You Read?

Dancing on the Glass Ceiling by Candy Deemer and Nancy Fredricks. This book is a great road map for female leadership. Dance lesson 7 looks at building supportive relationships that expand your career horizons.

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Building up your EI can help all your relationships to flourish.

Coach Yourself by Anthony M Grant and Jane Greene. Extending your good relationships to be more positively supportive. See chapter 10 on doing it with a friend – co-coaching.

The Glass Cliff: Poison Chalice or Golden Opportunity. This is my latest article in the People Bulletin. Women at the top need to understand who their true friends are and their ability to form strong supportive relationships can be crucial to their success.

What's Happening

What's Happening?

In the next few months I'm travelling to Toulouse, Israel, Stockholm and then Darwin, Australia. Who do you know in these places who would welcome an input of positive energy to their organisation? Maybe they would like a better gender balance at the top or they need to get more out of their older workers. Email me their contact details and I'll make an appointment to see them on my trip.

Fresh Steps in Manchester - We've secured a great discount for October's Fresh Steps course with North West Employers. I anticipate that places will go fast so if you want to try the course out for your organisation or make a new plan for the second half of your life sign up now. Click here for more information.

Positive Praise

Good Morning Sue, Many thanks for your latest Positive Energy, it has come at a particularly good time!!!

Donna

In next month's newsletter we'll look at how you can use the Internet to help you reach your goals.