Positive Energy - How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Dear Mark

To everyone who sent great words of encouragement after receiving last month's issue of Positive Energy – thank you! It's great to hear from you and if you’d like to share any ideas or success stories with me and the rest of the readers, please do get in touch.

In this month's issue we're looking at the importance of self awareness and how knowing yourself can really boost your self confidence. I hope you enjoy it.

Some of you have asked if you can send Positive Energy to other people you know. The answer is, of course, yes! If you've been forwarded this issue and would like to receive a free copy of the newsletter each month, just click here to send me your details.

Best wishes,

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Understanding who you are gives you the confidence to take the next steps towards whatever you want to achieve. How? When you know what your values are, you can set goals for your progress, to help you meet your values. As you meet each value and goal, you'll see how much you can achieve and your confidence will grow.

Knowing who you are also helps you let go of the past and everything that held you back, letting you look towards a more confident future.

First you need to think about who you are. Are you male or female? How old are you? What race or colour are you? Do you have any disabilities? What are your spiritual beliefs? Is there anything unusual about you or your situation?

Next look at your life to see what themes emerge. Are there events that keep happening to you? Are you leading from the front or are you the one left behind while others move on? Have there been significant events that have forced a re-think? What would the soundtrack of your life be like?

Finally, think about where you are now, before you try to move forwards. Are you stuck in a rut? Are you at a crossroads, unsure which way to turn? Have you reached a safe but unexciting plateau? Are you sitting down and waiting for something different to happen?

Wherever you are, there are probably things that you want to improve or change – or you want to help other people to change.

If you've never really taken the time to sit and think about yourself and how being you affects the life you live, find the time to do it soon.

Your approach to life is based on a set of beliefs or values that you have gained during your life. Your decisions are based on them. When listening to your past you can ask yourself “What did I believe in that prompted me to make that decision? What felt important?”

What really matters to you in the following areas?

Yourself – do you need a sense of humour and peace of mind? Would you like time to travel or sit and read? Is an expensive car more important that spending time with loved ones? Do you want space and freedom or comfort and closeness?
Your work – would you rather have a highly paid job that takes up all your spare time, or a part-time job that allows you time for other people and projects? Do you do your job because it's worthwhile or because it has a good bonus scheme?
Your community – do you need to feel safe? Are animals or children more important to you? Do you worry about what goes on outside your community in the wider world?

There are no right or wrong answers. Your answers are your values – what's important to you and what makes you different.

How many of your values are being met? The more that are, the more positive energy you will have. When you know what your values are and what's important to you, you can make sure they're being met. The more positive energy you get from meeting each value, the more confidence you’ll get and the more positive energy you'll have. You can't help but win!

Janet Burstow from Nottingham explains how she discovered that she needed to make a change.

"I was working long hours and often taking work home. Although I enjoyed my work I was looking forward to it less and less and starting to lose sleep."

"I felt disconnected from my family because I was always working. When my 5 year old daughter said that Mummy was a sleep worker who worked while everyone slept at night, it shocked me and prompted me to reassess my life."

"My girls are the centre of my life and I don't see enough of them. I want them to have a positive outlook on life and to grow up happy and confident. This is what I really value, but I was not around enough to help them to do that."

"So I changed the way that I work so I can spend one day at home every week. Although my pay has decreased, I'm much happier to have more time with the children. I'm happier with my work as well, as it allows me to meet my values."

Janet's advice? Strive for what is really important to you, as getting that right can affect everything else in your life.

If you'd like to share your story in a future issue of Positive Energy then click here to tell us.

Emotional Intelligence Pocket Book by Margaret Chapman. An excellent introduction and practical guide to EI with tips, tools and techniques to improve your emotional awareness and your ability to manage your feelings.
How To Get What You Want And Want What You Have by John Gray. This book helps you to find out what's important to you and how to use it to help on your journey to personal success.
www.coachlee.com/valugame/LongList.html. This online game helps you work out what values are most important to you.

For more recommended reading, visit our website.

Milecastle Consultancy Ltd
Tel: 01697 747 821 Email: sue.hewitt@milecastle.co.uk Website: www.milecastle.co.uk
Milecastle Consultancy Ltd, 1 Rose Cottages, Gilsland, Brampton, Cumbria CA8 7AP