August 2007

 



Dear Anne

It’s August and this month’s edition of Positive Energy from Milecastle Consultancy is packed full of useful resources and exercises to give your life a real boost this summer, whatever the weather does!

This month we’re going to look at how you can tap into other people’s support to make your life so much simpler and more enjoyable.  You’ll kick yourself that you haven’t done it before!

We receive lots of encouraging feedback from the newsletter.  If you find it useful, why not pass it on?  Perhaps your friends and colleagues would find it useful too.  Please keep your comments and success stories coming.  I love to hear from you and it gives me a real boost to read a bout your successes. You can email me or call me on 01697 747 821.

Best wishes,



 
 

The Positive Part – Are You Making the Most of the People Around You?

“The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person's life.” William Wordsworth 1770-1850, Poet

Did you know that on average we each know about 500 people. And of those 500 people, 10% will bend over backwards to help you.  You could probably list those people off the top of your head right now.  At the other end of the scale are another 10% of people who won’t assist you.  These people can really hold you back if you let them.  The remaining 80% are people who probably won’t take the initiative to help you, but will do if you bother to ask.

I want you to concentrate on the 80% who are your “passive acquaintances”.  They offer a huge bank of potential - potential information, skills and support that you can use to achieve your goals.

The important thing to remember is not to underestimate people.  They mostly want to help.  Put the shoe on the other foot for a minute.  Imagine someone you know, but who you are not in regular contact with, phoning to ask your advice.  I’m pretty confident you’d be happy to help.  You may even be secretly pleased that they thought of you.

It’s unlikely that you’re making the most of your contacts.  Isn’t it time you gave them the opportunity to come to your rescue?  Why not give them a chance to shine and boost your confidence levels and theirs along the way.  What have you got to lose?


 

Positive Practice

Your own network is simply everyone you know.  If you extend that again to everyone they know, then the possibilities of getting the help and support you need are very tangible indeed.

So let’s make a start at tapping into your network:

  • First, think about what it is you want to achieve.  Identify a goal that currently seems out of reach.  Perhaps you want to move into a different department or role at work.  Or would you like to take up a new hobby, but don’t know how to get started?

  • Next, think carefully about who you know that could help.  Try to remember what you know or have heard about people.  When you really put your mind to it, you’re bound to know someone who can give you a gentle push in the right direction.  Perhaps a ‘friend of a friend’ works in the area you’d like to move into.  Or perhaps an acquaintance mentioned that they once attended classes in the hobby you’d like to start.

  • Finally, plan how to approach them.  Find out how you can get in contact with the person who could help you.  Plan what you’re going to say.  You may have to remind them who you are and how you know each other.  Briefly explain why you’re contacting them and check if they have the potential to help.  Then ask if it would be ok to arrange a convenient time to talk again or to meet up.

This is a brilliant way to kick start those goals that have been on you ‘to-do list’ for far too long.  If you hadn’t managed to achieve your goals on your own, then don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Also remember that you do not know everything about everyone you know.  Another strategy is to mention what you want to achieve in general conversation.  It’s surprising how often someone that you hadn’t even thought of might have some useful advice to offer.

Of course, there’s a flip side to your network. You may also want to consider the role you play amongst your contacts.  Are you comfortable with how people perceive you or would you like to play a different role?  There’s a worksheet available on our website, called Change Your Role, that looks at this in more detail - click here to find it.


  

What Can You Do?

Avril from Nottingham wanted to move to a new role

Avril worked as an administrator in the police, but had always had a secret desire to wear a uniform and become an officer.  She dealt with officers every day, but she didn’t have the confidence to take the first step towards that new role.  Then she came on a Springboard programme that was attended by both civilian staff and officers.  As a result, she made some new contacts that were able to give her a real insight into the role and advice about what she needed to do.  They helped her to fill in the application forms and coached her for the interview.

She was accepted and now wears her uniform as a Police Community Service Officer with great pride.  She said that before attending Springboard she had never really thought about asking colleagues for help, but now she does it a lot more to help her learn the ropes.

What Can You Read?

  • The Nice Factor Book by Robin Chandler and Jo Ellen Grzyb.  Are you too nice for your own good?  If you are not getting the help that you need or you always feel that you are giving but not getting support, then this book will help you to ask for help in a more positive manner and put your own needs first.

  • The Book of Luck by Heather Summers and Anne Watson.  Amongst other topics the authors look at Socia-Ability – being able to relate to people in a wide variety of contexts.  Don’t forget that you are only ever 6 people away from anyone that you really want to talk to and that starts with your immediate network.

  • BlogPositive – if you like my newsletter, then why not get a dose of positive energy every week from my blog. It’s available on my website - www.milecastle.co.uk - and you can even have it delivered to your inbox by selecting the RSS button.

Don’t forget that you can buy these books directly from Amazon by clicking on the links above.

What’s Happening?

I’ve just come back from a training course in Orlando, Florida, where I met a new contact who runs a holistic clinic in Barbados.  We are currently discussing ways that I can go out there to deliver a Springboard programme for his clients.  The way that we usually run the programme won’t work as I couldn’t travel all that way for a one-day workshop each month (much as I am attracted by the idea!).  However we have special arrangements that we can make to condense the programme into a smaller package when we are working abroad.  So, who do you know outside the UK who could benefit from experiencing Springboard in this way?  We’d love to talk to them about scheduling a programme next spring or summer.  And when we have the dates for the Barbados programme I’ll let you know!

In next month’s issue of Positive Energy, we’re going to share some top tips on how to achieve your goals – no matter how big, hairy or audacious they are!

 
 
Milecastle Consultancy Ltd
Tel: 01697 747 821  Email: sue.hewitt@milecastle.co.uk  Website: www.milecastle.co.uk
Milecastle Consultancy Ltd, 1 Rose Cottages, Gilsland, Brampton, Cumbria CA8 7AP		  

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