Positive Energy - How Do You Use Assertiveness?

November 2006

Dear [name]

Welcome to another edition of Positive Energy, Milecastle Consultancy’s newsletter designed to deliver ideas and useful exercises to help keep you motivated, energised and feeling positive.

Last month we looked at ways to help you be more assertive. This month we’re going to put those skills into practice. By the time you’ve finished reading, you’ll have learnt how to handle even the most uncomfortable situations with a new positive outlook.

If you want to remind yourself of last month’s newsletter topic, then visit the website at www.milecastle.co.uk to view back issues.

I hope this newsletter is helpful to you. Please do send me your comments and success stories. Click here to email me or call me on 01697 747 821.

Best wishes,

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude of mind."

William James 1842-1910

Key to being assertive, even in the most uncomfortable situations, is your ability to be assertive with yourself. If you enter into a situation and anticipate a disaster, then you are unlikely to achieve a positive outcome.

Do you dread certain meetings at work, or returning home and confronting your family or housemates? Perhaps visiting your parents or in-laws fills you with worry? Maybe the thought of shopping for clothes leaves knots in your stomach?

If you can be assertive with yourself, then you’ll find all these situations far easier to deal with. What’s more, you may even enjoy them!

The conversation you have in your head is hugely important. If the voice is unassertive and negative, then your scepticism is likely to ring true. But if you make a concerted effort to mentally prepare yourself for a positive outcome, then it is likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That’s because your mental attitude sets the scene for how you react to others. If you wake up on Monday morning, dreading the week ahead and dragging yourself to work, then you’re setting yourself up for a difficult week. However, if you make a concerted mental effort to have the best week possible, then people will react positively to your attitude and energy and your week will run far more smoothly.

The good news is you can train yourself to be more assertive and enjoy the benefits of a newly positive and energised frame of mind. Here are three simple steps to get you started:

Firstly think of a situation that you don’t normally look forward to. Whether it's a situation that fills you with absolute dread, or is simply something you’d much rather put off, write it down.

Next consider how you currently deal with this situation. Do you put it off for as long as you can, or do you dread it and hope that it will be over and done with as quickly as possible?

Finally write down your new assertive approach to the situation. Imagine a positive outcome - what does it look, feel and sound like? What would it involve? Consider tactics for calmly and assertively dealing with the worst case scenario and make a note of them.

This simple exercise can make a dramatic difference to how you assert yourself. Not only will it raise your confidence levels, it will give you strength to face situations you never dreamed possible and give you the motivation to achieve your biggest goals.

The Colour Purple by Alice Walker - This powerful story, although difficult reading to start with, charts how Celie’s life is transformed as she discovers her ability to believe in and value herself.

Thank God it’s Monday by Sarah Berry – Learn how to change your mental attitude to get the most out of your work.

Coping.org A website with useful exercises to help you think more positively.

As a result of your requests, we have changed the dates of our open Springboard programmes to take account of half term holidays and other commitments.

The South Yorkshire programme will now commence on Tuesday 21 November. Read about this programme in the Farmers Guardian here.

Our Carlisle programme will now commence in January giving you the opportunity to make a new start in the shiny New Year.

In next month’s issue of Positive Energy we’ll be looking at healthy ways to deal with stress and overcome nerves. We will also have news about a brand new programme for older workers.

Milecastle Consultancy Ltd
Tel: 01697 747 821 Email: sue.hewitt@milecastle.co.uk Website: www.milecastle.co.uk
Milecastle Consultancy Ltd, 1 Rose Cottages, Gilsland, Brampton, Cumbria CA8 7AP