Positive Energy - Getting Past Your Comfort Zone

April 2006

Dear Mark

Welcome to the very first issue of Positive Energy from Milecastle Consultancy. Every month I’m going to bring you a dose of positive energy, to help keep you moving forwards and keep you inspired and motivated when times are tough. I’ll share with you ways of increasing your confidence and getting to where you want to go in your life and your career.

I really hope that you find this issue helpful and would be delighted to hear any comments you have. Click here to e-mail me or call on 01697 747 821.

If you know anyone else who will benefit from reading this issue of Positive Energy, please forward it to them.

Best wishes,

"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change."

Barbara De Angelis

There’s increasing determination among women who want to take control of their lives, rather than just accept their lot, which others have decided for them.

You may want to make changes but are weighed down by the burdens of today and crippled by your fear of stepping outside your comfort zone. This becomes a vicious circle as you don’t try new things and are continually frustrated by where you are. As a result, your confidence and self esteem take a battering and you begin to feel you don’t deserve the changes that you seek.

So you continue to work hard at the same old stuff, holding together yourself, your team, your family and your friends. Everyone relies on you but no one asks if you need any support.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone and the way to start taking those first steps is to get some help from your network. If you don’t think you have a network, think about this. Each of us knows almost 400 people by first name. That’s a lot of people. Now add to that the 400 people that each of those 400 people knows and the total number in your network could be huge.

It’s time to start thinking about how to use this valuable network resource.

If you don’t feel good about yourself then asking for help is probably hard; and you may not want people to know you need help.

So think about this. How did you feel the last time someone asked your opinion or asked for your help?

You probably felt flattered and pleased to help that person. Now it’s time to give the people in your network a chance to feel the same way.

Here are three steps to get you started:

List three things you feel strongly about, where you would like to make a change. It could be the way you’re treated at work or at home, the way you see others treated, your relationships, the work you do, the promotion you want; or something wider like a charity or a community issue. Write these down in your notebook.
Think about who you know who can help you to make that change – colleagues, friends, family, people from groups you belong to. Write the actual names of the people and how you think they can help. Think also about the people who they might know. Where possible write their names and how they can help.
Now start talking to those people on your list. Explain what you are trying to achieve. It could be as simple as asking a friend for some advice, to read a letter you’ve written or to put you in touch with someone they know.

Each of these small steps towards using your network effectively will help you build your confidence and self esteem as you gradually reach beyond your comfort zone. Start with things that you really care about, which will drive you along and you will be astounded at how much you can achieve.

Mary Potter from Southampton explains how she found the help she needed from her network.

“I was becoming busy in my business and I couldn’t manage all of my admin tasks and travel bookings. I started to feel like a failure, as I was sure other people with bigger businesses managed with no help. Maybe I was just disorganised and ineffective and didn’t deserve to be successful.“

“Eventually, instead of moaning about it, I started asking people how they were coping with their businesses. I found that many of them weren’t, but they were happy to share ideas with me. Then I was chatting to a friend about how someone had suggested I get a virtual PA – someone to do office work for me, but from their own office. She said, “But I could do that for you,” and suddenly all my problems were solved!”

Mary says, “Talk to people in your network about the problems that you have. Sometimes serendipity will deliver the result – but only if you tell someone what you need.”

If you’d like to share your story in a future issue of Positive Energy, click here to tell us.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. This is the absolute classic for anyone frightened to step outside of their comfort zone. It’s for anyone who feels that everyone else is controlling their lives and who doesn’t know how to start to win back that control. It’s for all of us when we have those indecisive moments.

Powerful Networking by John Lockett. This pocket sized guide will help you focus on what the people in your network can deliver. It will help you work out who they are, what you need from them and to think strategically about how you network. It’s easy to read, with quick quizzes that will help you discover more about your network.

www.gwenrhys.com. Gwen Rhys runs a business specialising in networking and her website has lots of great advice about why and how to build networks.

What’s On?

We’ll be running Springboard Women’s Development Programmes again in the autumn. Venues and dates are not yet decided, but click here to register your interest and you’ll be the first to know as soon as we’ve fixed the schedule.

If you’d like us to bring some positive energy into your workplace with focussed and tailored training, to motivate and galvanize your women into action, then call 01697 747 821 or click here.

In next month's issue of Positive Energy we’ll look at self awareness and motivation. Knowing yourself better allows you to find out what really motivates you and help you achieve even more, reaching further beyond your comfort zone.

Milecastle Consultancy Ltd
Tel: 01697 747 821 Email: sue.hewitt@milecastle.co.uk
Milecastle Consultancy Ltd, 1 Rose Cottages, Gilsland, Brampton, Cumbria CA8 7AP