Dear Reader

Navigating personality clashes during the festive season. Whatever you end up doing over the festive season, you will probably spend quite a bit of time with family and friends. Some of them you might not see eye to eye with, so knowing how to navigate different personalities might be helpful!

See right hand column for ….

  • Coming soon, an exciting new product – Master Your Inner Critic E-Learning Programme.
  • Using the MBTI personality instrument at work … Are you interested in finding out more about what makes your colleagues tick?
  • Do you want more inspiration and support each month? …. Then the soon to be launched Inspire VIP Group  is for you.
  • If you enjoy Inspire, then pass it on or let others know they can sign up for free on our website

Best wishes

Melanie Greene

Navigating personality clashes during the festive season

What personality types do you have in your family and friends? In 2009 I wrote about how to cope with different personality types at work and explained the four dimensions on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Click here to take another look at that edition. You might want to read through them and think about the following questions to help you to understand the key people around you:

  • Does Jack drive you mad with his incessant chatter because he has a preference for Extraversion and that is how he relates to the world?
  • Is Myra really being unsociable when she doesn't join in with the banter or is it because she has a preference for Intraversion and is naturally quiet in groups?
  • Does Uncle Bob bore you to tears with his detailed descriptions of each stage of his journey to you or his holidays because he has a preference for dealing with the details, while you are a big picture person (Sensing – Intuitive dimension on MBTI)?
  • Are Joe's big ideas for saving the planet pie in the sky or is his ‘big picture' thinking coming to the fore (Sensing – Intuitive dimension on MBTI)?
  • Does the fact that Nick likes playing devil's advocate mean he has a preference for Thinking?
  • Is Said's need for harmony and his ability to sooth over any family tensions due to his Feelings preference?
  • Is the fact that Joan leaves her festive shopping until Christmas Eve just her personality type rather than her being a hopelessly disorganised person (Perceiving versus Judging dimension on MBTI)?
  • Why is every day out with your friend Sam organised like a military operation, could it be their preference for the Judging dimension?

What about yourself, what are your personality preferences and how does that impact on how you interact with your friends and family?

‘Holidays are an expensive trial of strength. The only satisfaction comes from survival.' Jonathan Miller

Are you good at asking for what you need? Different personality types have different needs. Do you know what you need and are you good at asking for it? Sometimes people act up with their families and friends because they are not asking for and getting their specific needs met. Sometimes the only way they know to get that is through quite manipulative behaviour. I had one woman on a workshop who suddenly realised that when she was tired and wanted her husband to make her a cup of tea, she would sigh very loudly and make a big thing of being tired. She realised that instead she could simply and directly ask him if he would mind making her a cuppa! She had not realised that she was manipulating the situation.

So think about your personality type, are there things that you need to make your festive season: enjoyable (playing games with the children), exciting (unexpected, unusual gifts), relaxing (an occasional lie in), etc.

How can you go about discussing this in a calm and rational way with your loved ones?

Remember they are not mind readers and if you don't ask they won't know.

Although I definitely have a preference for Extraversion on the MBTI I also really value my time alone. Having gone away with my family for festive holidays over the last 8 years they are used to the fact that I might want an afternoon or some time on my own. Nobody thinks I am unsociable or being rude. And I know I need the time alone in order to fully enjoy the time with others, so I know to ask for it.

‘If you feel like you're being taken for a ride, get out of the passenger's seat and take control.' Peter Karsten

Are you good at allowing others what they need? – How do you react when others clearly express what they want and need? Your reaction might depend on how assertive you are about your own needs. It tends to be that if we don't express what we want and need, then we end up resenting when others do.

Put yourself in their shoes, think about their personality type, what might be their needs. For example, Judging preferences tend to want to know when and where things are going to happen, even if you might be a more ‘let see what happens' kind of person.

Remember that they are not just being difficult, they are just different from you. Take a deep breath, even chuckle in your head about how different you are and think how you can meet both your own and other people's needs.

What are you going to do to take everyone's personality types in your stride?

‘True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.' Joseph Addison

See the right hand column regarding using MBTI with your team.

For more information about Grovelands visit our website: or call Melanie on 01865 377334 or email by clicking here.

Coming soon - an exciting new product: Mastering Your Inner Critic Online Learning Programme

If you bought Master Your Inner Critic, Release Your Inner Wisdom book, but never got around to reading it. Or wanted to attend one of my public workshops based on the book, but could never find the time, then this is for you….

An online training programme delivered straight to your email inbox, which supports you over a period of time in mastering your inner critic.

It will be a series of e-books and video clips (yes, you will get to see me in action!) based on the book.

Watch out for the special edition of Inspire which will be coming out in December introducing you to the brand new Mastering Your Inner Critic Online Learning Programme.




Using the MBTI personality instrument at work

Are you a couple of people running a business, or a member of the SMT of a large organisation or perhaps your team is not getting on as well as it could do?

Using the MBTI personality instrument either with coaching or a team workshop can be incredible powerful in helping you to navigate through the weaknesses of your different personality types and fully utilise the strengths within your team.

In the current climate you cannot really afford to waste time and energy on conflicts and communication breakdowns. An appreciation of your personality types can assist you in avoiding these and enhance how you work together to achieve your business goals.

If you think your team would benefit from a MBTI assessment, then call Melanie in confidence on 01865 377334 or email by clicking here.




Do you want more inspiration and support each month? ….

…. then the soon to be launched Inspire VIP Group is for you.

I am creating an Inspire VIP Group which will provide you with:

  • A monthly teleseminar.
  • Free hints, tips and exercises on a variety of topics.
  • Discounts for our coaching and online programmes.
  • And much more…

Watch out for the special edition of Inspire which will be coming out in January introducing you to the brand new Inspire VIP Group.




For more details about the work that Grovelands Associates carries out in organisations visit




Feel free to pass this issue of ‘Inspire' onto others – if you have been forwarded this issue and would like to receive your own copy each month, click here to subscribe to our monthly newsletter.

  You are receiving this email because you are a friend or client of Grovelands or you have requested the newsletter from our website. If you no longer wish to receive this please click here.